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5 reasons Speedos should be outlawed
- By Susan
- Published 04/2/2008
- Speedo wife's diary
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"Ciao!" from the beautiful shores of southern Spain. Susan here again with a new intense desire to have Speedos outlawed.
John and I are visiting family in Spain, and if John needed a reason to wear his awful Speedo he got it here. It seems to be almost expected that the men on the beach here barely cover themselves. They all wear Speedos!
I seriously am considering starting a fund to help stop the destruction of beautiful beaches with the terrible sight of mammals in Speedos.

1.) Pot Guts.
Seriously……why would a man who looks like he is 9 months pregnant think he is attractive in a Speedo?
The answer to this question is allusive. Men with pot guts, including John, should realize that a Speedo is not there best choice.
It mucks up the scenery.
2.) Jelly Bellies.
Everyone has seen a jelly belly being exposed when it shouldn’t be and it’s even worse a top a Speedo. Jiggling and shaking, it’s frightening, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t look away.
It’s almost like watching a train wreck that you can’t stop.
3.) Big Butts.
When one is trying to tan on the beach, there is nothing quite like a man with a huge behind, wrapped in a skin tight Speedo standing above you.
Ugh, the torture of it all, rolls popping out everywhere. Things the size of the side of a building should be covered completely and leave most of it to the imagination!
This could cause a heart attack.
4.) Tiny Privates.
This one is hard to know whether to feel sorry for the person or disgusted at the fact that you can see everything.
Really….I prefer to not have the serenity of the beach interrupted by my own laughing.
The quiet is threatened by loud outbursts.
5.) Huge Privates.
I am by no means a prude and enjoy the site of a well put together man but I don’t want to feel as if I am being attacked by sea snakes on the beach.
If you have to tuck ‘things’ in on a regular basis….you shouldn’t be wearing it.
People can’t watch the waves if they are already queasy.
I will update all of you when I start the ‘outlaw Speedos’ foundation and I hope you will join the cause.
Spread The Word
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3 Responses to "5 reasons Speedos should be outlawed" 
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said this on 09 Dec 2009 9:42:34 AM PST
I'm a Speedo guy and I resent the position that you are taking. Who made you the fashion police??? I'm with the Bikini Guys/Gals club and we will fight you all the way. DROP DEAD!!
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said this on 10 Jun 2011 12:04:41 PM PST
Heck yes bikini guy! as a water polo player, i love the speedo. the speedo makes me who i am. now im only 16, so i dont think people will exactly be "disgusted" by the sight of a 16 year old in a speedo, but when im 60 ill still be rockin em no matter what people think. Get a grip, if you honestly think speedos are that bad, then dont go to where they are. but for you to try to outlaw a type of clothing you dont like is ridiculous
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said this on 04 Aug 2011 11:13:17 AM PST
I think we should outlaw women in bathing suits too - next time you go to the beach, don't put on your little panty like swimsuit bottoms, instead I want you to wear long board shorts with boxer underwear under them.. go swimming all day and tell us how you feel at the end of the day.. get your head out of your ass you ulgy lady
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